Chapter 8:To think about it…

I’ve updated chapter 7,
yea I’m trying to do double entry for today.

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To think about it…
We were close for actually more than 2 years.
I get to know her before my SPM, which is 3 years ago.
It was end of the year, so means its before November.
We started to spend time with each other frequently since December 2007. It ends March 2009.

2 years…
How could it all changed till like this.

To think about it..
She was actually that girl who gets sick often.
I actually fail to convince her how to be healthy.
I also fail to make her to be more healthy.
I don’t know whether she is healthier now or not, I sure do.
But I remember, she told me that her eyes was weak, that it went for operation.
Main concern was her low blood pressure.
Every now and then, when she tells me her story or situation about it,
I always wished I could do something.
But end up, all I can do was just saying a few lines that doesn’t makes her healthier like “Rest more.” =.=
And also…
the most I can do is giving her Iron pills for her low blood pressure on her birthday, hoping that she’ll take it which obviously she won’t.
I wish.. there would be someone who can convince but sadly that person doesn’t exist.

To think about it…
She was that unique girl that I really really like..
That would stands in front of the crowd and say it out loud,
“Hey! I’m different!”
I thought that I actually found someone who actually appreciate uniqueness, but as time goes by, I guess that her is disappearing.
Every since she got into NAFA, she start to be affected greatly on what people would say and would really give up things that are unique that is in her.
That is the girl I truely miss talking to.

To think about it…
I actually spend more good times than bad times with Xue,
but as time goes by if things remain like this.
It will be the other way round. Hahahahah

To think about it…
I don’t know why I so noob, would willing to call her using IDD, and stupidly didn’t really mind that she NEVER call back once at all.
I guess this is the point where she can say we weren’t close at all
I was so noob, accepting that, aiyaa Xue got one style..
Is call the lazy to do all the mafan stuff.. buying IDD just to call me =.=
But nah, I should actually think this way..
If it was for other better guys, I think she will.
But each time I get my IDD, I was really excited to call her..
sometimes call halfway, then IDD finish then I say “You wait arr I go buy IDD first”.
Hah, sohai… I so called close with her, never even ask her am I the only Malaysian who calls her this often?

BUT….. I remember I did ask her…
whether does she mind that I call this often.
She said it was fine, I’m convince so.
Because at that time I still remember, she was the Xue, who was happy go lucky, always ponteng class, sleep late, repeat the word sien very frequent but after we chat she no more say sien liao =D

To think about it…
I also… don’t know when it actually started.
When things started to change.
I couldn’t see.
My sense was blind believing that she IS the Xue that will be a supporting close friend of mine no matter what.
But I just don’t understand when did it actually happen when things started to turn upside down.

To think about it….
the next entry is gonna be… moments of the time where I actually confess my feelings to her, in a sad way.
I actually felt disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to say it confidently out loud, followed by saying..
I know it might be hard to accept, but I wish that no matter what happen you’ll still be there for me.

To think about it….
I’ve been wanting to be in Singapore always since 2 years ago..
which lies only one purpose.. which is for her.
To aim to go Singapore, become a Singaporean,
leaving Malaysia behind where my friends are.. where the foods are..
where the cheaper stuff are… where the traffic jams are..
It was during age 19 where my STPM is already approaching I started to wish that I could get into NUS.

NUS.. siao.
All my friends who got at least 3A’s made it there.
I end up failing Math, resiting Foundation Course.
Which is a real sad sad sad sad sad sad thing.
So that’s why now the moment I see my friends are in NUS, all I could tell myself is.. I only have one final chance to make it.
Not to SG, as for now, since no more Xue, I don’t think Sg is my ideal place.

She’s aiming to be a fashion designer and no need to say, Japan is her main aim.
Surprisingly the field that I’m into, Japan also very hot into it.
Japan so big, I don’t think we will be fated to meet.
So now yea that’s my main aim which is Japan, where I might be IDT General’s a.k.a Mac Chang rival.
But that’s like really LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go.
What I meant was not the duration, is the moments of me working hard for it. Xue used to be able to be a boost for me, like how the Hitman Reborn shoot the gun to Tsuna head then got fire.
Now.. bo liao… =D

To think about it…
I myself never expect this.
I thought such thing will never happen.
But it still happens ^^V