Chapter:The End part 2

So stupidly I didn’t realize that it was her eventhough I felt strongly that it was her.

So I go on telling her that “Things may not be how I want it to be, so please be the one to replace my role.”

Then Xue was like don’t so diao can la, wtf here and there la..
Talk as if like trying to tell me “Who the hell you think you are.”

I just recalled, Xue called me “Kepoh”.
Once again I would say, Xue never once say me Kepoh before…
anything I ask her also she will tell me like no problem.

Lol, a friend would kepoh a friend would say say kepoh?
I don’t think so..
That is why when she said that, I even strongly feel that something was even more WRONG.

So Jason was the one in charge of helping her to ask me log on into RO, and so I did.
She didn’t even dare to use her character to tell me face to face but instead MEGAPHONE IT OUT AND LET THE WHOLE SERVER of IvaliceRO PEOPLE KNOW.

You think I could remember the megaphone content?
Nope, I only can remember doesn’t mean you can tame my heart, and what she gave me chance from when to when I also don’t know what the heck is she talking about.

So I went to the Apostate base and guess what she said?

“Nothing was wrong actually, if you were to let it be things will be alrite.”

“I gave you TWO chance to break the ice, but you didn’t take it.”

“Be it like the past, where you wait long long and nothing will happen.”

That was the final words I could ever remember.
LOL! I said to her..
“You never tell me when I ask also…”

Xiong can tell me is common sense.
Common sense eh?
You know why I said you never tell me?
Because I trust her.

She said it was alrite, okay..
but things doesn’t convince me.
moreover I’m sure when she’s with you guys you all sure gossip about me that’s NO DOUBT about that.

But I want to trust her, so that is why I say “Please tell me if you were to need some time of what I will do it, just tell me.”

But no.. how can I use my common sense at this confusing moments eh? Where Xue NEVER ONCE could fail to express her heart out to me by telling me when she’s angry or sad if she really is..
Xue has been always honest to me.

That is why I choose not to believe in anything but what comes out from her.
If the answer is no answer, I would take that as an unanswered question.

I DID stop messaging after that, but I approach her friends only what.
WRONG MEH?

Xue claims that I go around tell everybody how emo am I.
But does she knows that she’s the cause of me being emo?
Don’t tell me like how you could control your emo-ness.

Xue is special to me, the more special the person is, the MORE emo you become if that person hurts you.
I only tell to those whom I chat with most of the time IN RO.
In fact I think I only started telling like what happen AFTER SHE DECIDED TO JUST IGNORE ME FOR LIFE =)

During the process of confusion, I only tell those whom I trust.
So whoever that know about this.
When your confuse, you tend to speak out your mind to people close around you.. DON’T TELL ME YOU CAN BE SILENT WHEN YOU ARE IN THE STATE OF CONFUSION. NO ONE CAN.
I was confuse Xue.. I was…
But you said you gave me chances…
But it seems like you have the intention to end it.

I Trust you guys with my whole heart.
If you are involved in the backstab go ahead.
I may not take my revenge, but things will come back to you eventually and that is the time you will think of me. ^^V

Of course to those APOSTATE who is involve in separating us instead of fixing it.
Remember, I as Shungz NEVER once do anything harmful to you guys.
I may say things that hurt you all, but all that was unintentional, and I ALWAYS support you guys since Celes at full heart.
I may not take my revenge, but remember also don’t think you can get away with it.

Jason and Zhi Jian, you two could have the chance to be a two headed snake, maybe others who seem nice to me could also be.
But I won’t see it as you two will do so.
Even if you did… I also don’t care.

But I would want to ask you a question back, “What did I do to deserve this from you two? I trusted you two as my brothers in RO.”

So it seems that things went wrong way before I really realize it.
To those involved, you know who you are.
Remember, you were in a position of probably fixing a bond and to break a bond.
If you were involved in the bond breaking, the potential energy will somehow return to you.

To Xue,
I still have many more to say to you before I truly end everything.
I thought you were someone whom I thought could still be there for me until the day of my success I will acknowledge you as someone who’s been supporting me.
I don’t even know why can’t you be honest with me, and the best part is you don’t even get to see what really matters to me.

NO is not MARRYING YOU pleaseeee…
Singapore’s currency is 2.4RM I have to work 2 times to date you once.
Marrying you means staying in Singapore, I will have to sacrifice all that I have in Malaysia.
Is COSTLY to marry you.
So that’s why I wouldn’t even care if you were to turn me down on this.

What matters most to me is you and I could maintain the strong bonds that we once build since 3 years ago…
until the end of our life on earth.

That is why, that day when I gave you that present, the DESIGN of it is EVERYONE CAN LAUGH AT IT…. laugh at the STUPIDNESS OF THE IDEA of THE DESIGN OF THE BOX.

I could do a lovey dovey design…. but no, I don’t want to.
That stupid designs with lights and not even a HEART SHAPE nor I love you word there CLEARLY SAYS
“Hey… this is from me… your friend… is not from someone who comes here to win your heart.”

I tell you, even though I may be able to love you till the day I die.
But that doesn’t mean that I will do so if you don’t feel the same.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ALL THESE NONSENSE TO KILL THE FEELING.
Cause I can see myself being able to let the feeling die off.
Your too costly to marry…. please….

I guess… it doesn’t matter anymore if I say now. I don’t know what are the chances you may read this… so… whatever lorrr ^^V